so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
