Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
wow bdsm is so cute
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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