so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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