They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
