My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
