the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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