2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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