I have demons in me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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