How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
