He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
