i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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