did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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