? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
