would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
