Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
