you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
