New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
