he shaved USA in his pubs
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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