"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you never un-have a 4some
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
