The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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