My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
