I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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