I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
