my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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