i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
