I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
