My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
