Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
