you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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