Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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