next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
