WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
