he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
