This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Drake has all the answers
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
