Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
