Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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