your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
