Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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