How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize