she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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