yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
