New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
