i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize