If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Randomize
