..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
