how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
