i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
