about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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