This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
