Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
its not stalking. its research.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dick very happy bro
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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