Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
