i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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