I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
