WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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