so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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