For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize