I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
