and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize