is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize