Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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