woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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