OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
