He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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