she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize