Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
