i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
