Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize