i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize
