oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I could fuck to npr.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
