you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
