im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
