yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
