I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
