My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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