we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
