There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
