and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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