Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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