Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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