I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
