In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
