I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
