You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
