end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
