'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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