Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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