the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
