Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
