Do vagina's smell?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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