do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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