Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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