i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
