This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
