lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
